likesthecoat: (kai and matilda)
[backdated to Monday]

  • We speak Welsh to each other a great deal, since Lorne and I are thinking of sending him to my old school. Kai refers to it as "our special language" and he finds it incredibly funny that Daddy doesn't understand as much as he does. (Daddy does understand a bit more, but they tend to be terms we don't use in front of the child.)

  • I see more and more of Lorne in him every day, now that he's shedding the baby fat. It's always been in the shape of his eyes and his mouth, but I'm noticing things now like how they have the same hands and toes, and they have the same mischievous look when they think they're getting away with something. They have the same laugh, too, when they're truly happy.

  • He and Jack have a really sweet friendship. I'd never seen Jack with children much before this, but he's natural with Kai and Kai is perfectly comfortable with him. Kai has no qualms about crawling into his lap and demanding a story or a game, and Jack indulges him every time, for hours sometimes. Kai calls him "Jack-Jack." (I suspect we've let him watch The Incredibles too many times.)

  • At the birthday party Kai and Rhodri both decided they were superheroes and held tea towels at their shoulders, and ran around the garden going "Zoom! Zoom!" until we brought the cake out. They also insist on sitting next to each other when we eat together.

  • He likes napping on Matilda's side. Matilda usually lets him. When he can't find Matilda he'll wander the house going, "Matty, Matty..." and he'll squeal when she comes running.

  • I'd be hard pressed to say what his favorite movies and stories are. He likes everything by Pixar that we have, and he gets a bit impatient with the fairy tale Disney movies. He likes things he can dance to but we've yet to try an actual musical. (Most of them are much too long for his attention span still.) He likes the music Daddy and Tada listen to more than the children's tapes we've bought, so we try to keep to the cleaner songs when he's awake.

  • At bedtime he likes to pat my cheeks and say, "Scratchy Tada."

  • He likes to eat hot dogs and mac and cheese, and apples without the peels, and Flake though I largely suspect it's because Tada likes it. Grandma Maureen made chocolate chip cookies, American style, and Kai's eyes got Very Very Big at the decadence of it. He can feed himself 90% of the time, though he can't handle a (very blunt, toddler-sized) knife and fork at the same time yet.

  • He's never been a very talkative child, but if he's comfortable with you he'll chatter away. He'll drift between English and Welsh quite a bit, too, but mostly with me and my family. He tried it with Grandma Maureen and she said, "I don't know those words, Kai." So he set about teaching her Welsh like I've taught him, picking things up and saying their names in English and Welsh, or telling him what I'm doing as I do it. (I melted. You never realize how much children are paying attention until you see them imitating you.)

  • When people asked him how old he is, he said "This many!" and held up three fingers.

  • When we go for family walks I like to hang back a little with the dog and let Lorne and Kai walk ahead. Kai holds Lorne's finger and tries very hard to keep up with Daddy's strides (of course Lorne slows down for him), and they hold their heads and place their feet the same way. Kai has his shoulders, too.

  • He likes coloring with crayons though he doesn't color in the lines of coloring books yet (Milena gives him reams of blank paper instead), singing, dancing, playing football, "helping" with laundry (he gets to push the wet clothes into the dryer, and when clothes are staticky when they come out it makes him laugh to pull them apart--he also has looked in the dryer for the land of lost socks [bad Tada, telling him about that]) and dishes (we let him put away his dishes, which are plastic, or carry one plate at a time), story time, nursery rhymes, and let's pretend. Sometimes he's a puppy and crawls on the floor, barking. He likes going to the beach though he doesn't like getting in the water, and he likes the park a lot: he likes to run ahead of us and run back, and say, "You're pokey!"

  • He knows that I am Ianto and Daddy is Evan, and he likes to say "Kai Dylan!" like we do. (I confess, I like saying his name, too. It's a good Welsh name.)

  • I don't think he's figured out how all these people fit together, what the difference is between family and friends, and who belongs to whom. He knows I call my mother Mam and call Grandma Maureen Mom, and Lorne calls them both Mom, but I don't think he knows what that means. He also knows Auntie Ellie is Rhodri's Mam but I don't think he knows what that means, either. I expect when he grasps it better he'll ask where his mummy is. We'll see.

likesthecoat: (so big!)
Kai played football this weekend for the first time. He had the unfair advantage of being tiny and adorable, and so the opposing team let him get in several goals and wasn't too fussed about fouls and outs. (We'll worry more about rules when we put him on an actual team in a year or two.)

(Lorne made a lot of noises about baseball being a superior game, but I've been to a baseball game and I know the truth about that I exaggerate. He's just glad it's not rugby. He's familiar with the scars I have from it.

Baseball is still a very slow game. Verrrry slooooooow.)

(He also shouted "Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooalllllllllllll!!!" a lot, even when nobody made a goal, which confused Kai.)

(My husband is a dork.)

(Love you, baby.)
likesthecoat: (in these stones horizons sing)
The key is not to panic.

I've run into Daleks before, at Torchwood London. They are ruthless. They are hugely xenophobic, to the point that all other life forms are worthy only of death. And they are nigh unto impossible to kill.

If you see one, don't even run. They'll just shoot you in your tracks. Surrender instead. It may earn you a few more minutes of life.


I'm hopeful it's just our Earth they're invading. I pray that's so.


Stay safe, all of you. Hold tight to your loved ones.


Oh, God, Kai-baby. Daddy and Tada love you so much.


[Private Entry]

I have never seen Jack just shut down the way he has. Somehow, that scares me more than the rest of this.
likesthecoat: (drink my coffee)
Had a quiet birthday this year.

Kai boggled at all the candles on my cake: when I told him there were twenty-nine of them he said, "Tada, you're old!"

Yes, beloved baby, I'm old.

I got some lovely gifts, though, many of them coffee-oriented, and my husband is going to love me up good as per our tradition.

I will leave you all with that mental image. Good night.
likesthecoat: (umbrella)
Just an update: we are adjusting, both as a team and as a family. Kai has asked a few times if Toshiko is coming to visit again, but we've tried to explain it in terms a three-year-old will understand and I'm beginning to think he gets it. This has meant, though, that he's been a bit more clingy and sad when it comes time for us to leave for the day, and when people come to visit he doesn't want them to leave, either. He hardly left his gram's arms when we visited my parents last.

Fortunately Jack has proved to be a good playmate for him lately, which should probably surprise no one. He may be God-only-knows how old and has traveled to parts of the universe you and I only see in our dreams, but he's also really just a small child inside.

Lorne is perfect, as always. (Aren't you, my love?)
likesthecoat: (made in wales)
I hope your holidays were as lovely as ours.

Father Christmas came for the children, of course, and they were up early to see what he brought. Kai was a bit baffled by all the gifts and food, but he's a mellow child and pretty much just rolled with it.

(And between family, friends, and Torchwood, he made out like a bandit.)


[Filtered to Jounouchi]

Jou, thank you so much for the gifts. The boys loved their four-wheelers (steered by Da and Daddy) and I'm emailing you the pictures I took.

And everything else was just stunning in its generosity. You're a good friend to our boys and believe me, the families appreciate it. You should be getting a thank-you note from Ellie soon.
likesthecoat: (saving the world)
[Filtered to friends]

Jack is cross with me, Gwen is cross with Jack, and I suspect Lorne is cross with Jack and me.

Fun times.

You see, there was a boy named Jonah Bevan. He disappeared seven months ago, and came back about four months ago. But he came back different--came back aged and wounded and mad.

I thought I was doing the right thing, letting Gwen know where Jonah could be found, but now Gwen is even further disillusioned, Jonah's mother doesn't want to see him, and Jack and I had a long talk involving words like "trust" and "secrets." Well, he did most of the talking. Well, yelling. Well, not that much yelling. Jack rarely yells at me. What he does is worse--he's disappointed.

And that's . . . that's hard to take.

So I'm home now and playing with Kai, since he loves me unconditionally and never looks at me like I've broken his heart. It's always good to be reminded of why we do this.
likesthecoat: (wedding rings)
You're supposed to be a crazy, wild, willing-to-experiment state.

Oh, well. I feel my marriage is still valid there, even if you don't.
likesthecoat: (drink my coffee)
Lorne's mother is here, and it's lovely, as ever. Kai took a while to warm up to her, but she expected that what with all the strangers he's been meeting lately. She was patient and gentle and let him come to her, and eventually he showed her his toys and let her carry him, and he was cuddling her by bedtime.

So I think we're doing all right there.

[Filtered from Lorne]

Also with all of this Lorne's birthday has utterly sneaked up on me. Maureen says she can keep Kai if I want to take him away for the weekend, which I think I'll do. I just have to find an utterly fantastic place where someone with a broken leg can have a good time.
likesthecoat: (all I long for)
Lorne and Kai are napping together on the couch. Matilda is keeping a watchful eye. And I'm getting the house ready for Maureen to arrive tomorrow.


Feel free to envy me this perfection.


Euan and Ellie came over last night. The first meeting of Kai and Rhodri went something like this:
Rhodri: But I'm the baby!
Kai: I'm also the baby!
Rhodri: You can't be the baby!
Kai: But I am the baby!
Rhodri: Are you sure you're the baby?
Kai: I'm a perfectly good baby!
Rhodri: Okay, I guess you're a baby. Lego?
Kai: LEGO!!!

Only with more poking and exploratory biting. It was kind of like having three puppies rolling around on the floor once Matilda got involved.

Mum and Dad have also been to visit, and it took a while for Kai to warm up to them but he was cuddling and comfortable by the time they left. Macsen came with them (he's still living with them, much to everyone's relief) and he kept saying, "Kids, mate. Kids," like he couldn't believe it. I can't quite believe it myself, but I love rediscovering it every day.

The plan is, once Maureen arrives and has recovered from jet lag, for me to go back to work full time and she and Lorne will find a nanny for when his leg is healed and he can come back to work as well. Jack is also starting to make noises about hiring a new doctor, but he prefers to let staff find us than seek anyone out so it might be months.

I hear stirring. Must run.
likesthecoat: (hold my hand)
Kai and Matilda have a lot in common. They both love to play until they're worn out, and then sleep wherever they happen to curl up. After the initial "OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT NOISY, FURRY THING!!!" reaction he had, I'm just happy to see that Kai loves her.

Kai is very quiet compared to Rhodri and my neices. He babbles a little but mostly communicates with by pointing or giving us his "WTF?" face. He imitates me sometimes when I talk to him in Welsh (or sometimes just give me more of his "WTF?" face), and he lets us know when he wants out of his cot: he'll shake the bars and yell. (Lorne calls this his Jailhouse Rock routine. And then sings Elvis to him. Our house? Fuckin' adorable.)

He'll drink from his bottle and play with his ear, and stare at me so I'll stare back, and when he finally gives up he'll giggle. I kind of love that.
likesthecoat: (heart)
[Filtered to friends]

We had a productive weekend here at the house: it is babyproofed within an inch of its life, if a house has a life, and it was field-tested by Rhodri himself. Matilda also got a taste of what it's going to be like from here on out: Rhodri was quite enamored of her and Matilda has decided he's part of the pack. I have a few pictures of the two of them sleeping on the floor together. I'm thrilled she was so patient: this bodes well for when Kai gets here.

Had some good talks with Mum and E&E, as well, so I'm feeling a lot more prepared than I had been for what it takes to look after a toddler. It's quite different from just playing with them for a few hours and then giving them back to Mummy, but with patience and energy it should work out.

[Private Entry]
Had a long talk with Jack, as well, before everyone got here, mainly about the sheer terror I've had at being a terrible father. Parenthood is like nothing else, and as much as I've thought about it and observed it there's really nothing that prepares you for it, is there? But he calmed me down and reminded me I brought him up well (his phrase), so I should do fine with a baby.

So I think I can handle this. And even if I can't . . . well, I will, anyway.
likesthecoat: (drink my coffee)
[Filtered to friends]

So, yes. As Lorne said, we're parents. I've let my family know, and my mother and my brother Euan and his wife and son are coming this weekend to help me get the house ready. Babyproofing and clothes and so on. My nephew Rhodri is almost Kai's age so the idea is they'll know exactly what we need.

And I have to admit I'm as excited to see Rhodri meet Kai as I am to meet him myself.

(And as much as I love all my brothers, I'd much rather get help from Euan than any of them. Out of all of them, he's always been the one I've had the easiest time talking to.)

I expect a call from Lorne's mother soon, too. I expect she'll want to be here while Lorne's healing and Kai is getting used to us.

We've got a son.
likesthecoat: (in these stones horizons sing)
NADOLIG LLAWEN, EVERYONE!


Tomorrow Lorne and I will be with my family in Swansea and the day after we're heading for the States to do the military a favor, so I don't know when I'll be checking in again. (Probably from the airport if I get bored.)

Stay safe, stay warm, and have a happy Christmas.
likesthecoat: (cardiff castle)
[Filtered to friends]

Macsen is safely with our parents, and I know the whole story now. He overreacted to a situation, but I don't expect the consequences will be as dire as he thought. Still, I've contacted a few people to help. We'll see.

Meantime, an old cinema we used to go to when I was a child reopened last night and I took Gwen, Owen and Lorne to opening night. It's meant to be a revival house but I don't think it's going to work out quite as the owners hoped.

It was actually quite a long night last night. I don't think things are finished yet, either.
likesthecoat: (cardiff castle)
[Filtered to friends]

Guess who was waiting for us when we returned from the States? That would be my brother Macsen. Apparently he'd been camping out in the back garden while we were away, mainly living in the garden shed (and yes, I am going to make him pay for the window he broke) and subsisting on the neighbors' fruit trees.

*sighs*

I haven't gotten the whole story out of him yet, but he has let me let our parents know he's still alive and they've let the police know he's been found. (I feel I should add that all I had to do was say "Torchwood" at critical moments and they backed off any suggestions of questioning him. Love it when work comes in handy.) We had a very long conversation in Welsh about this whole thing last night--he refuses to tell me anything useful in English, "just in case."

I am not ruling out drug-fueled paranoia at this point. However, I'm so glad he's alive and unhurt that I'm willing to let a lot of things pass right now.

(The beating for putting us through this will happen later. Preferably with large sticks.)


(And I suppose I ought to be flattered that out of everyone he knows, he chose me as his safe haven...still want to kill him, though.)

At any rate, my brother is asleep in the guestroom, my parents want to fetch him tomorrow though he hasn't said he'll actually go with them, and whatever he's afraid of, I'll take care of it.
likesthecoat: (in love with a wonderful guy)
Lorne and I are in Denver again. I get my first American Thanksgiving! The boys were thrilled to have us here--Liam is still on the couch with me, in fact, and seems reluctant to go to bed. In fact he wants to type a little.


Hi this is Liam! Im typing on uncle ianto's Computer! He's telling me how to spell stuff! Tomorrow we will eat turkey! Bye!



So there you have it.

Apparently it's part of the tradition to meditate on what you're thankful for, so.

*I am thankful for my beautiful city, which has always been a place of refuge and comfort for me.
*I am thankful for my family, who love me unconditionally.
*I am thankful for my meatspace friends, who began as coworkers and became so much more.
*I am thankful for my online friends, who are so much more than merely words on the screen.
*I am thankful for Lorne's family, who welcomed me as a part of them without question.
*I am thankful for Lorne. He brings so much peace and happiness to my life, and I love him beyond measure.

Happy Thanksgiving, those of you who celebrate.
likesthecoat: (made in wales)
We have a lead on Macsen. I'm off to Paris.

God, I hate this.
likesthecoat: (made in wales)
I'm wearing my poppy. We're going to a memorial later.

Never forget.

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likesthecoat

July 2012

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