[internet cafe] twenty questions

[likesthecoat]

1. What are the shiniest keys on your keyboard?
The space bar.

2. Do you know who Snowball of Animal Farm stands for?
Trotsky, I believe.

3. Have you ever found yourself tempted to sensually stroke the spines of history books about Napoleon?
Yes. They're so nice and thick. Mm, leather.

4. If no, will you find yourself tempted now that you've read that question?
I will pay closer attention to the bindings of history books now.

5. What's your favorite type of government?
Ideally, a democratic republic. When I'm the absolute ruler of civilization, I will be a benign dictator.

6. If you decided one day to become a goth, what would you change your name to?
Blaidd Drwg.

7. What's your favorite fictional character?
(Shouldn't that be "Who is"?) For some reason, right now I want to say Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet. Here's this bloke who's completely off his chump and yet he's also beloved to the point that Romeo kills for him. I find that touching.

8. If you discovered a giant comet that was about to hit the Earth and possibly take out a small European country, what would you name it?
I'd also name it Blaidd Drwg, because you have to admit, that's a catchy name.

9. In the event that you had to kill someone, what weapon would you use and where would you hide the body?
Oh, I have ways.

10. Without cheating, how many digits of pi can you remember?
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510. I figured 50 was far enough.

11. While on the topic of Maths, do you know what number e stands for?
2.718281828459045 etc.

12. Are you patriotic?
Yes.

13. It's midnight, you're starving and nothing is in your house. You call the pizza place... what do you order?
Olives, mushrooms and sausage.

14. Do you look like any celebrities?
I've been told I look like a less ugly Quentin Tartentino. It's the forehead.

15. And the best movie ever is...?
According to whom? I watch "Unforgiven" a lot more than any other movie I own, I suppose that might be my personal "best."

16. Do people offline know about your cryptic, dirty life of crime online?
Yes. Fortunately, the captain also has a cryptic, dirty life of crime online, so the secret is safe.

17. List five items on your desk.
Coffee cup, tourist pamphlets, today's outbound post, a roll of cellotape and a bus schedule.

18. If you could become the epitome of any one label for one day, what would it be and why?
In the spirit of the next question, I should be a s8kter boi someday.

19. Have you ever listened to Avril Lavigne in private and actually enjoyed a song of hers? (We won't tell.)
No.

20. What's the worst affliction you've ever had?
I had pnemonia once when I was about five. Hospitalized and everything. It was terrifying--I still remember the fever dreams.