I understand. It used to be mine. Except instead of 'I'm not sure' it was, 'I don't', and instead of, 'right now', it was 'ever'. I sympathize, really.
That's true, and I know I'm very lucky. If I were alone... I can't even imagine it. I'd be like before, probably. Trying not to think about any of it.
(...I'm slowly discovering that I am, too. You won't tell anyone, will you? I believe in... silly idealistic things. But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It does hurt more when you're on your own, yes, but... It also makes things better when you're not. And you won't be on your own forever, Ianto. Not unless you want to be. You're young, and you're a good person, and you very obviously have a lot to offer. It's going to take you time to heal first, but you will get there, and then... It's up to you.)
[OOC: Watching 'Countrycide' at the moment, and I'm at the bit where they're talking about kissing and I'm just praying they don't ask Ianto BUT I KNOW THEY WILL and it makes me want to cry. D:
Near would be totally emotionally dead without Matt. He'd revert to his pre-ship state where all he really did was work, and he didn't allow himself to feel much of anything. His whole personality would change; he wouldn't involve himself in casual discourse or post much at all, and would refrain from offering advice because he'd be fucked up and biased. He'd respond to emails or IMs because it would be rude not to and he's quite mannerly, but that would be it. Sam and Ianto would have to come to Winchester and kidnap him if they wanted to get any sort of reaction out of him. Near doesn't know how to have friends or a life without Matt, because he never did before, all he did was work and play with toys. He'd have to learn from scratch, and I don't know if he'd want to, because he literally couldn't be happy without Matt, and he wouldn't see the purpose in feeling other emotions if he couldn't feel the best one. ...They're stupidly co-dependent. It's Near's only real relationship, and Matt's first non-abusive/healthy relationship, so they've come to rely on each other to a very serious degree. There's been a lot of discussion both IC and OOC about it, and basically the sad fact of it is that Matt would be basically suidical without Near, and Near would be a robot without Matt.
...We're aware they're fucked up. But they're happy...! So that has to count for something, right?]
no subject
All feelings, or one specifically?
I understand. It used to be mine. Except instead of 'I'm not sure' it was, 'I don't', and instead of, 'right now', it was 'ever'. I sympathize, really.
That's true, and I know I'm very lucky. If I were alone... I can't even imagine it. I'd be like before, probably. Trying not to think about any of it.
(...I'm slowly discovering that I am, too.
You won't tell anyone, will you?I believe in... silly idealistic things. But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It does hurt more when you're on your own, yes, but... It also makes things better when you're not. And you won't be on your own forever, Ianto. Not unless you want to be. You're young, and you're a good person, and you very obviously have a lot to offer. It's going to take you time to heal first, but you will get there, and then... It's up to you.)[OOC: Watching 'Countrycide' at the moment, and I'm at the bit where they're talking about kissing and I'm just praying they don't ask Ianto BUT I KNOW THEY WILL and it makes me want to cry. D:
Near would be totally emotionally dead without Matt. He'd revert to his pre-ship state where all he really did was work, and he didn't allow himself to feel much of anything. His whole personality would change; he wouldn't involve himself in casual discourse or post much at all, and would refrain from offering advice because he'd be fucked up and biased. He'd respond to emails or IMs because it would be rude not to and he's quite mannerly, but that would be it. Sam and Ianto would have to come to Winchester and kidnap him if they wanted to get any sort of reaction out of him. Near doesn't know how to have friends or a life without Matt, because he never did before, all he did was work and play with toys. He'd have to learn from scratch, and I don't know if he'd want to, because he literally couldn't be happy without Matt, and he wouldn't see the purpose in feeling other emotions if he couldn't feel the best one. ...They're stupidly co-dependent. It's Near's only real relationship, and Matt's first non-abusive/healthy relationship, so they've come to rely on each other to a very serious degree. There's been a lot of discussion both IC and OOC about it, and basically the sad fact of it is that Matt would be basically suidical without Near, and Near would be a robot without Matt.
...We're aware they're fucked up. But they're happy...! So that has to count for something, right?]