Ianto & John, birthday sex

[likesthecoat]

Sex with Constantine is never bad--it's often good, sometimes great, sometimes overwhelming.

John has outdone himself tonight, bringing Ianto to the edge over and over before finally letting him over, and it's some time before Ianto can do more than brush his fingers over John's back, before he can even think.

When he does, it's I can't lose this.

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[likesthecoat]

Ianto nods and looks away.

He says quickly, as if he's been carrying on a different conversation, "See, John, the things is, the thing with me is I don't know if I have the capability to make anyone happy. I can't save you or heal you or--or anything like that. I'm just a man, and a very fucked-up one most days.

"But if you want to give it a go with me, then let's give it a go."

He closes his eyes and swallows.

[bloody-awful.livejournal.com]

John listens to that, and closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

When he opens them, he says, "Sometimes I forget how young you really are. It's not your job to make me happy, or heal me or any of that shite. The only person who can do that for me is me." He rolls over onto his side and looks at Ianto. "And the only person who can do that for you is you. But, for what it's worth..." he looks away, and grimaces, takes another deep breath and looks back. "These past few weeks, I haven't been this happy in years."

[likesthecoat]

Ianto starts to smile. "Really? You've been happy."

[bloody-awful.livejournal.com]

John rolls his eyes and scoots up to sit next to Ianto against the headboard. "I've been grinning like an idiot and acting like a sodding fifteen year old. Went back to the Smoke to move some of the more volatile bits from my room here to my lock-up back home, and Chas -- friend of mine -- kept asking me what's her name and what kind of drugs she's feeding me." John winks. "I told him she's a 23 year old lad and suddenly Chas decides my private life is private."

[likesthecoat]

"That's a ringing endorsement, isn't it," Ianto says quietly, still smiling, and he leans against John's side. "Are we okay?"

[bloody-awful.livejournal.com]

"I'm always okay," John shrugs, "and whether you're okay is up to you. Always has been, always will be." He pauses, and when he speaks again, it's as if he's making a deliberate decision. "I'm just ... it's been ..."

He rolls his eyes again, and moves to sit on the edge of the bed, his feet on the floor and his back to Ianto. He leans his elbows on his knees and smokes his cigarette down. "Haven't been on the pull for a few weeks, me. Not that it's anything on you. My choice, not your problem."

Still acting like a sodding 15 year old, yup.

[likesthecoat]

"Neither have I," Ianto says. "You could almost say we're exclusive."

[bloody-awful.livejournal.com]

John looks back over his shoulder at Ianto, and the eyebrow goes up. He looks as if he's going to say something, and then clamps his mouth shut on it.

Then he says something else. "You still have a choice to make about that pretty, pretty boss of yours, bright eyes. But that's your choice to make and I'll keep my nose out of it, as long as he doesn't push my nose into it. If that happens," he adds pointedly, "someone's nose will end up broken."

[likesthecoat]

"Well," Ianto says slowly, getting comfortable against the pillows, "look at it this way: I know I like you. I know I like what we have. And I think staying with something good is better than not." He looks at John directly. "For both of us."

[bloody-awful.livejournal.com]

John considers this, and nods.

"Anyone else so much as breathes on you and I'm turning them into a frog. I can do that, you know," he says, deadpan.

Then he grins and lies back on the bed, sharing Ianto's pillow. Whatever was closed behind his eyes is wide, wide open.