likesthecoat | [filtered]

You did *smiles*

I was just suggesting, *shrugs* Perhaps you and Jack aren't meant to be. But are you and Lorne?

God, I don't know. I don't know if I even believe people are meant to be together.

*sighs* Yeah I can... I can understand why. Perhaps that was not the most sensitive of questions to ask.

I guess, what I might be trying to say here is, choosing between them isn't really fair and its not like one or the other and you can't see or talk to the other at all. But have you been honest with Lorne with your lingering feelings for Jack?

I don't mean telling him that perhaps you love someone else as well, that never goes over well, but tell him how important Jack is to you?

I think he knows. In fact I'm pretty sure he does. I don't see any reason to rub it in.

So, you're proposing to just stay with the status quo? And hope it changes for the better after awhile?

What do you mean?

I don't know it's just... of all the people I know, you are one of those that deserve to be happy and in love and loved.

And I just want you to be happy.

I apologize for over emoting, the water on the last planet we were on was a bit potent. It's made my brain a bit fuzzy and me like I want to hug everyone.

People keep saying that to me--"I want you to be happy"--like they have to sacrifice something in order for me to be happy.

And you know what I think? I think if I'm not happy I have plenty of reasons not to be, and if I am happy it's because I choose to be, not because someone made me so.

And I don't think people deserve to be loved, or don't deserve to be. They just are.

Most people deserve to be loved, but few people ever get the real chance.

And I do want you to be happy. I want all my friends and family to have that opportunity.

I unrealistically want to solve everyone's problems so that things work out well for them. Naive and unrealistic but I think in a way we all want to protect the ones we love from being hurt.

And, wow, but you and Sam I just want to put you two in protective bubbles.

Like I said, the water was potent. *sighs*

But, back to your problem and why you posted.

Do you think Lorne believes you're unhappy or trapped in this relationship? despite you saying other wise?

I think he thinks he's standing in my way.

*nods* I think I was trying to get to that idea but it seemed elusive to my fogged brain.

Perhaps Lorne asked you in a fit of pique.

Do you think it was something he's spent a lot of time thinking about or... was just something that popped into his head recently?

I don't know. I have no idea. It seemed to come from nowhere to me but maybe it's something he's been brooding over for a while.

And who can ever really tell online. *sighs and hugs you*

I'm sure Near can and is giving you far better advice on this than I am. But, I can give you this.

Online relationships are hard. Hell you know just as well as I do. The separation, the distance, it's all hard. And really, none of it helps people stay together and all of it helps slowly push them apart.

If you want to make things work being separated you have to hold on and cling to each other as hard as you can.. Go and talk to Lorne and tell him he was an ass for what he said but that you love him anyway and whatever he was thinking when he asked you was wrong.

I've already done that. I still feel like I can't say anything to him right now without making it worse. I told him I was upset and confused but I loved him and it would pass.

And now he's going away for days and I don't know how to make it better.

Reading a bit of Near's response's and yeah, I think I'm definitely going to be leaving most of the advice on the whole to him. He can actually say the things I can't quite verbalize in my head.

But this thing with Lorne, Near is right, perhaps it was just a fit of possession, at the thought of perhaps losing you. Or he just wanted to be reassured that he wasn't costing you anything by having you there with him.

Or maybe he really didn't mean anything that deep, and it was just something that crossed his mind.

Have you talked with Jack at all lately?

Of course I've talked with Jack. I see him every day. We tend not to get into deep discussions about our feelings, though, if that's what you mean. I've never asked him if he loves me because that would be ridiculous. I asked him once if he'd miss me if I left, and he said yes, and that's enough for me. I'd miss him too.

I get that you would talk to him. I figured as much since you work together. I meant more if you've talked about this, about Lorne with him. But I suppose not.

Well, thats something. *small smile*

We've talked about him some, but not recently.

*arches eyebrow* And what are you smiling about?

It was more of a hopeful smile; not really, a full fledged grin.

I'm sorry my advice was more... moody than helpful. I've found that to be happening a lot lately. You're lucky I didn't run the gamut and also yell at you too.

*hugs you* I know that you and Lorne will work this out. Even if it will be a bitch of a few days with him gone on mission.

No, you helped. You let me rant at you and that helps a lot.

I'm sure we will. We always have before.

*smiles* you can rant at me any time. I still wish there was an easy button I could press that could make things so much simpler all around.

As soon as I find it I'll let you know.

Thatnks, dearest.

*hugs* No problems love.

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