I too have experienced such a loss. It's been years and I have yet to fully put it behind me. I don't think I ever will. And, on top of his loss, I feel responsible for that fact that he is no longer here with me. All I can say is that the better days eventually do outweigh the worse ones, and that, even though it might not seem like it, there is hope for healing- for a second chance. I never would have thought it possible until just recently, and believe me, if I can hope again, anyone can.