likesthecoat | Bute Park, Cardiff

"I can't believe your admitting to it. So what else, how's his arse? Spectacular?"

"Yes, of course it is. So's his chest and his arms and his legs and his feet and his face. He's completely and utterly beautiful."

Martha smiled slowly, "Strong arms? Broad chest? Spectacular arse... I like your taste in men Ianto."

Martha took a bit of baguette and jam, popping it into her mouth, "So what made you angst about bedding him? He sounds," she waggled her eyebrows to show what she meant.

Ianto sighs and folds his arms behind his head. "Because," he says slowly, "my girlfriend just died earlier this year after a long illness, and even though I know she hasn't really been with me for a long time there's still a lot of guilt about moving on to somebody new."

He stares at the sky a moment. "And because he's my boss."

"Oooh," Martha moves to lay down with Ianto, resting her head on his chest and looking at him. "Oh, Ianto, Ianto, You know how I pry, so just tell me to hush and I will if I pry too far but, what would be wrong with just trying to make a relationship work with him?"

"I'm finding I like having people I can talk to about this. Near and Sam think he's going to break my heart and Lorne gets quiet and hurt when I bring Jack up. I don't want the others at work knowing so they're out, and there really aren't many others I feel that comfortable confiding in."

He takes a deep breath.

"Jack doesn't do relationships. He's . . . got a very unique perspective on the world. I mean, I wouldn't have him any different, but it does make our future look rather limited.

"And now there's Lorne . . . who I just . . . I want him so much I can hardly bear it."

"Ianto, we're danerously treading the line of Shakesperean tragedy here..."

Another dry laugh. "It would only be Shakespearean tragedy if I offed myself just before Lorne came back to Earth to be with me.

"For now it's just three screwed-up people trying to make the best of what they've got, I think."

"Well," Martha leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Ianto's, "You're not allowed to go offing yourself, first of all."

She pulled back, sitting up to card her fingers through Ianto's hair. "I assume you've talked with Lorne? I know leave is difficult to get but is there a chance he might be able to take some time off?

Does John know? I don't remember if you said he did, maybe he could help Lorne get leave... It might be easier making a decision if you know how well you and Lorne do in person. I mean, if you guys are half as good as we are..." She trailed off jokingly.

"No, no plans on offing myself," he says dryly.

"We've talked about it some, but mostly in a 'maybe someday' kind of way.

"He knows. He figured it out. But Lorne keeps telling me how important the work they're doing is and he doesn't want to leave it undone . . ."

"From what I can gather, it's not like their job is ever really going to be over. I take its sort of a life long commitment sort of deal." Martha slowly ran her finers trough Ianto's hair as she thought, wanting to find a solution to Ianto's problem.

"What was the problem with me grabbing him and then taking him back five mninutes after we had taken him again?"

"U.S. Marines tend to frown upon their people disappearing, mostly," Ianto said with a sigh.

"I thought he was in the air force...? I guess they'd also have a similar policy. But what if it was only for like ten minutes he would be gone?"

"Air Force, Marines . . . I can't keep them straight. He's in charge of Marines.

"It's the showing up out of nowhere, taking one of their people and disappearing into nothing that worries me. Not how long you'd be gone. It's a military base. They'd probably notice you right away."

"I can be sneaky... We can... Umm, do you think blue police boxes blend in with their decor?"

"Somehow I doubt it," Ianto says, think of the ways Lorne's described where he lives, and little hints he's let drop.

[ooc: bedtime.]

Martha sighs, "Well, we can always elope to Aruba, I hear the virgins are on sale this season..."

He raises his head to look at her. "Is that your solution? Virgins?"

"Only if it will make you laugh," Martha sighed, looking down sadly at Ianto. "I have no solution short of either Lorne quitting or you quitting Torchwood and joining him out there."

"Virgins," Ianto mutters.

"I can't quit Torchwood. And I'm not ready to leave Jack."

Martha paused, almost afraid Ianto would snap at her for the next question, "You can't but love him can you?"

Ianto stares at the sky.

"No. I can't."

He turns onto his stomach and rests his chin on his arms, thoroughly depressed.

Martha sighs and nods and places a hand on the small of Ianto's back and gently rubs his back, wishing there was an easy solution for her friend.

He says quietly, "Jack says as long as we both want it there's no reason to stop. I think he's right. I'm not sure I like that I think he's right. I'm not sure I like what it says about me, or about my faith in Lorne."

"i don't think it's a lack of faith in Lorne... Or says anything bad about you love," Martha sighed and moved closer to Ianto.

"You feel for Jack, care deeply about him and he's apparently a very good lover. There's every reason why you would want to continue seeing him."

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