well I hope you all reach the same higher level of okayness soon.

Addictions are complicated things- that's why therapists make so much money. The whole Pain/Adrenaline thing as a drug is very common where I come from, goes with the demon territory I think. Wolfram and Hart have a hand in a ring of demon fight clubs round LA. Even when one was shut down a few years back, people still flocked to the next one.