[private]

[likesthecoat]

[Private Entry]

It's all too much, these last few days.

I refuse to believe we've lost our chance at happiness, but I don't see much hope in our immediate future. I don't want Lorne to retire for me, but that will mean waiting until he's at the retirement age. Twenty-five years of waiting and hoping and a few days here, a week or two there.

I'll be fifty.



Mum is so worried. She's been hovering over me all day. Now we know where I get it from.



Euan wants to go out for a beer but I don't want to face a pub. I want to get back to Cardiff. I'm needed there.


It's a terrible week when the best thing I can say is "at least no one's dead."