likesthecoat | (no subject)

[Private to Ianto]

*kisses the top of your head*

If all the aliens we met were human, I might not feel so weird about calling Ronon and Teyla aliens, but some of them are, well, other. And that makes the ones that are human seem so normal in comparison that I forget sometimes how different they are.

[Private to Lorne]

*kisses your neck*

That's mostly a matter of culture, though, isn't it? Not biology.

[Private to Ianto]

*runs my fingers up and down your arm*

Mostly, yeah. Biology is nearly identical.

[Private to Lorne]

*cups your cheek in my hand*

So that's a different kind of alien. Not like, for example, a glowing squid-like being who eats hearts, or a gold-dust-appearing creature who's addicted to orgasms.

Yours actually sounds more interesting.

[Private to Ianto]

*kisses your palm*

No, our glowing squids don't eat anything. And I've never met a creature who was actually addicted to orgasms.

I don't know, sometimes I miss the Milky Way aliens. The Pegasus ones tend to have weird fertility rituals that always seem to involve getting naked, and harvest festivals that never involve enough alcohol to make them interesting.

[Private to Lorne ]

*strokes your face*

Officially we decided to say it fed on them, but considering the lengths it went to to get them, my personal feeling is addiction.

. . . you don't know any Wiccans, do you. Fertility rituals always involve getting naked. It's called being skyclad.

[Private to Ianto]

*smiles and kisses your nose*

I really wish you were making that up.

No, I don't. I can understand why fertility rituals involve nakedness. I mean, it's a fertility ritual. Nudity is kind of necessary for that. I just wish they didn't always insist on having us join them. I'm okay with watching the nudity, but I'd rather not actually be involved in it.

[Private to Lorne]

*nuzzles your nose*

Making things up at this point would be counter-productive, don't you think?

Well. I assume it has to do with diversifying the gene pool . . .

[Private to Ianto]

*rests my forehead against yours*

I suppose it would.

You'd think that, except that there's never actually sex involved. At least, not for us. Just nudity. We have an official "No off-world sex" policy. I think that's been around nearly since the beginning of the program.

[Private to Lorne]

*strokes the back of your neck*

. . . that ruins all the fun. Even the wedding night is a fertility ritual even if nobody talks about it. No point in the ritual if there's no payoff.

[Private to Ianto]

*shivers and kisses your lips softly*

I believe the policy was instituted after someone got high, slept with one of the locals and ended up infected with nanites that made him age something like a year every hour or so.

Also, if there's a strict rule against anyone engaging in the actual fertility part of the fertility rituals, we don't have to explain the concept of monogamy every time we go off-world. It's useful for those of us in relationships.

[Private to Lorne]

*slides my hand down your chest as we kiss*

Ah, well. In that case it's probably wise to refrain.

[Private to Ianto]

*runs the backs of my fingers down your sides and rests my hands on your hips*

I like to think so.

[Private to Lorne]

*wraps my arms around your neck and kisses your mouth*

I feel I should make a joke about fertility rituals but it'd be moot, anyway.

[Private to Ianto]

*kisses your ear and kneads the top of your ass with my fingers*

The joke or the fertility ritual?

[Private to Lorne]

*straddles your thighs and kisses you harder*

Both. Unless it's a fertility ritual for the crops, in which case I doubt it matters.

[Private to Ianto]

*holds your hips and arches up into you*

No, I guess not.

[Private to Lorne]

*grinds my hips into you, kissing you*

Can't follow thread of conversation anymore. Too horny.

[Private to Ianto]

*cups your ass in both hands and rocks against you*

I'd act disappointed, but I'm thinking with my dick right now, and it couldn't care less.

[Private to Lorne]

*shivers and kisses you harder, my fist knotted in your shirt*

Okay, then.

[Private to Ianto]

Fuck. Why are there still clothes?

*slides my hands up the back of your shirt and pulls it over your head*

[Private to Lorne]

Because half-dressed sex is hot.

*lets go of you long enough to let you take off my shirt, then wraps my arms around your neck again and resumes kissing you*

[Private to Ianto]

Fair enough.

*undoes your pants enough to slide my hands in and continue kneading your ass, pulling you tight against me*

[Private to Lorne]

Knew you'd see it my way.

*grinds against you, sucking and licking your neck*

[Private to Ianto]

You always have the best ideas, babe.

*slides a finger down your crack to circle your hole*