likesthecoat: (diary)
I write great letters but give lousy speeches.
likesthecoat: (diary)

Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack.


Just, Jack.
likesthecoat: (diary)
I used to think love meant forever, but I know better now. I can't offer anyone forever. Even if I offer someone the rest of my life, who knows how long that will be. Or won't be.

I hate feeling torn in two. I hate John thinking I'm only biding my time.

I hate knowing he's right.
likesthecoat: (diary)
I've started thinking about our future. I catch myself thinking about things like what we'll do for Christmas and if he's the type to celebrate anniversaries. (Lisa liked anniversaries. I liked them for her sake.)

I probably shouldn't think any further ahead than tomorrow, given everything, but it's nice sometimes to believe we'll have a few more days than that.
likesthecoat: (diary)
I think it's too much to say we're "together." But we are . . . something.

One of these days I should tell him when I go into the bar, he's the person I hope to see.
likesthecoat: (diary)
Bloody hell. The Doctor's on TIC now.

I can't even bring myself to say hello to him.
likesthecoat: (diary)
Now that I've had a little time to process it all, a reconstruction:

  • Q swaps bodies among several members of TIC, including Jack and Lorne.
  • A ZPM, the main power source of Ancient technology, falls through the Rift into Cardiff.
  • Ba'al, a Go'auld (Ancient pseudo-god*), follows it through.
  • Ba'al tracks the ZPM to the Hub.
  • Ba'al leaves his current host body and attaches himself to Jack (who is, let's remember in Lorne's body at the time.)
  • In the process, Jack gets killed. Being Jack, he doesn't stay dead.
  • All the more reason for Ba'al to stay with Jack. Only . . .
  • Q swaps everybody back. So:
  • Ba'al is now in Lorne's body, with his ordinary mortality. Ba'al wants Jack's immortality back.
  • Ba'al leaves Lorne's body, trying to get back into Jack's
  • At which point we shoot it.

I think I got all of it.

*Babylonian? Seem to remember him in the Bible. Elisha or Elijah. Blood sacrifice?
likesthecoat: (diary)
We both knew I'd never stay away, I think. Where would I go, what would I do? Even if I never remembered, I'd still feel the loss.

And he's used to me now. I think we'd miss each other just as much.

I don't regret Sam or John or any of it. We all have to find our own ways of grieving.
likesthecoat: (Default)
Jack and I had a talk last night, something I think we've been needing to say to each other for a long time. Nothing like facing the end of the world (again) to make you speak the truth, I suppose.

And the truth is I would miss him.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to us all if Lorne had never come into my life, if I hadn't fallen for him, if Jack had loved me the way I wanted him to if Jack had wanted to keep me if things had been different between Jack and me. I suppose I would be happy, though in a different way than now.

If I didn't have Lorne a lot of things would be different.

It doesn't matter, anyway.

Time to look after Tommy one last time.


likesthecoat: (Default)

July 2012

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