Ianto Jones

[Filtered to Near and Sam]

Last night I told Lorne I love him. Well, what I said was "I think I love you" which is probably not what most people dream of hearing, but it's also the truth.

His response was less than heartening.

I think I could have reacted better; but as it was I was too embaressed to stick around any further and cut off the conversation, and then rang Jack, because what's better when you feel rejected than someone who'll never say no to you.

(Though to be fair Lorne didn't say he'd never love me--he just said he wasn't sure yet. Still. Not what somebody wants to hear back.)

Either way, I'm using Jack terribly though I doubt he minds that much. And now I have to wonder how I'm going to speak to Lorne again, having this between us.

In sum, this relationship thing sucks and I'm terrible at it. I even had a good long conversation with Martha over the weekend about my harem and she thinks Jack would be better for me as he's actually here, and . . . I wish somebody would just tell me "this person is right for you."

Of course, nobody knows that, do they? Not for other people, at any rate, and not always for themselves.

So. How are you?

[Filtered to Near]

I miss you and need to talk to you. Get out of bed already.