[Filtered to friends]

Decorated the Hub a bit for the holidays. Lights, a little try at my desk, holly. Christmas gifts were given--left on people's desks. I think we're all comfortable with admitting we're not exactly demonstrative.

Anyway. In case I can't get to the computer again in the next few days, happy Christmas, good Solstice, or whatever holiday you choose to observe. I wish for peace.

[Filtered to Dean]

Dean, I'm so, so sorry. I can't even say how much. I'll miss him terribly.




[Filtered to Lorne]

They're not letting me go to Atlantis.

O'Neill called me into his office about half an hour ago and told me I failed the psych evaluation. He said I show a tendency towards OCD. I said yes, I put that on my application but I also put that it's under control. He said no, the psych eval said it's not and they can't accept me.

I told him that was bullshit and he said he's sorry but that's the rules. They're giving me an hour to pack and say goodbye to people and tell whoever needs telling that I'm coming home, and now there's that note from Dean about Sam, and I . . . god, I need you so much.

I don't know what to think. To have come this far and be turned away at the last minute, and for such a flimsy reason . . . I hate to sound paranoid but there has to be something more. I can't help but think this has something to do with Saxon and everything that went on yesterday, that they think I'm some kind of spy for him or something and are just using the OCD as an excuse. God, I don't know.

Devastated doesn't even begin to describe it.

I guess I'm going home. At least I still have the flat. I just . . . everything we hoped for, everything we dreamed of, gone, just like that.




[Filtered to Jack]

There's been a sudden change of plans and I find myself out of a job. I understand you're short one secretary. Shall I send you a C.V.?

Our new PM is Harold Saxon. Personally I think he got in mostly on charisma, though I suppose after all the concern with Harriet Jones's health the last year I shouldn't be surprised Parliment went with someone who projects such an aura of vitality.

I'm . . . not sold, but I voted and that's all I can do.

Hardly matters now, I suppose, as I'll be out for the country for an extended period. I leave for Denver tonight. Can hardly wait.

[Private Entry]

In approximately 28 hours I board the plane for the US and leave all this behind me.

I feel . . . mostly at peace about this. I'm going to miss my family and the people at Torchwood. I'm going to miss Cardiff. But I already miss Jack, and there's nothing to be done about that except appreciate the memories, I suppose.

It's a new life. It's what I want, with the person I want. I think after everything that's happened, I've earned this.

[Filtered to Lorne]

I had a good visit with my parents today. They're so happy I'm moving on. Of course, they never knew the truth about Torchwood so they think I'm finally fulfilling my potential after grieving Lisa for far too long. They're excited for me, and they're glad I'm going to be with you. (They were a little confused about how I'll be working at a military base, but I explained it as much as I could, emphasizing the research bits.)

Dad said he expects you to keep me in the style to which I'm accustomed, by the way.

[Filtered to Friends]

I have an announcement to make.

At the end of this week I'm leaving Torchwood and Cardiff for a new job in a new place. I'll be joining John, Rodney and Lorne at their assignment.

I'm incredibly excited about this--not just for the new career opportunities, but also because this means I'll be living with my boyfriend.

Lorne and I have been dating for a while now, and while we've had a few chances to be physically in the same place it'll be a relief to no longer be long-distance.

I love you, sweetheart. I'm proud and happy to let all of our friends know.

ETA: Because I promised.

I LOVE EVAN LORNE AND I GET TO LIVE WITH HIM AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!

[ooc: gets adulty in the Lorne/Ianto thread. I'm sure no one's surprised.]