[internet cafe] writing excercise

Write an extremely creative out-of-office message for your e-mail account. (Source.)

• I am out of the office for an unforseen amount of time, as the pterodactyl has eaten my fingers and it will take a while for them to regenerate.


• I have been eaten by cannibals. Go away, it's crowded in here.


• I have fallen through the rift and am finding my way back to the present. This could take some time (or even all time). Please email my boss and tell him to COME GET ME.


• I have run away to join the circus. There is no internet under the big top, so I won't be answering emails.